One critical piece we have learned from listening to adult adoptees is that they often don’t come to understand the importance of knowing their history and extended family until they are much older. The longer one waits to search the harder it can be to find leads. It would be devastating to recognize the importance of this information after too many years have passed and the information within the adoption paperwork is no longer useful. At the same time it’s important to make sure that the adoptee’s voice is heard and if they are adamantly against it it may be better to wait until they are ready. So many aspects of adoption are beyond the adoptive child’s control, so letting them lead the way regarding the discovery of their own history and extended family members assures them that you value them and their voice.